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Creflo Dollar Wants A Space Shuttle Now | Jets for Jesus

I know, I know. What does this pulpit pimp want now?

After Creflo’s failed crowd-funding in attempt to buy a 65 million dollar jet, he took to his congregation to talk about the devil shorting him the money. He’s still trying to get it. Now? This guy wants a fucking space shuttle. He claims in the video that people don’t understand why he needs the jet. He operates in many countries, why does he need help with getting his jet and now, for some fucking reason, a goddamned space shuttle? Oh, yea…because it’s his DREAM.

In order for me to do what I’ve been called to do. The airlines they don’t fly my schedule.

Are you fucking kidding me? They don’t fly your schedule? Is that the best excuse you could come up with? Alright. Okay. He wants this jet and shuttle in the name of Jesus, but it doesn’t work that way. Those darn airlines, how dare they not check with Mr. Gimmee-Your- Dollars first before making out their schedules! Straight to Hell they go.

If they discover there’s life on Mars, I’m gonna have to believe God for a billion dollar space shuttle. Cause we got to preach the Gospel on Mars.

Aw, come on, man! Listen, the universe doesn’t need his level of fuckery. It’s bad enough as it is that it’s plaguing this planet. He’s not about to go to Mars and do it, too. He and the rest of his pastor buddies CAN get a one-way ticket to the sun, though. I wonder what his congregation thinks of this. Seriously. I need a laugh. I mean, his congregation has put forth more than enough already and has even tried to help him get his jet. Do they get a refund since it failed? I have a question: How much of his dream gets funded by Social Security checks?

I have a question: How much of his dream gets funded by Social Security checks?

How can he stand up there with a straight face and defend the nonsense that’s leaving it? You know what? I think the congregation would see a better return on investment if they paid the Russians to drop Creflo off on Mars for missionary work. “If I wanna believe God for a $65 million plane, you cannot stop me. I’m gonna have to believe God for a billion dollar space shuttle“. Believe what you want, but you’re asking people for it, not god! You can pray for the jet, but you’re soliciting donations, not miracles!

“When you’re born into this world, you’re given a ticket to the freak show. If you’re born in America you get a front row seat.” – George Carlin

Just so you know, “Private Jets for Jesus” is the worst Kanye West album to date. This is just another episode of “god doesn’t give preachers airplanes, chumps do”. Remember that time Jesus told his disciples to buy him a golden chariot? Yeah, me neither.

Active authoritarian; Creflow praying on the passive authoritarian flock. It’s a symbiotic relationship. They give him money and he tells them what they want to hear.

 I spoke with god last night and she flies coach, actually.

While I’m thinking about it, let me remind Christians on a few bible scriptures they probably didn’t know exist:

Matthew 6:24: “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate
the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise
the other. You cannot serve God and money.”

Luke 18:25: “For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”

Luke 12:33: “Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide
yourselves with money bags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the
heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth
destroys.”

1 Timothy 6:10: “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of
evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the
faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

Hebrews 13:5: “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content
with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor
forsake you.”

Luke 6:24: “But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation.”

I wonder has he gotten to this part of the bible, yet. He’s crying about the devil discrediting him, but this assclown doesn’t need the devil to discredit him. He does a damn good job of that all on his own.

This is why aliens have placed warning buoys on the edge of our solar system.

I’m done.

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