Realizing I Don’t Believe In God (New Arthor: Rodney)

I’m not really big on introductions but let me give you a very brief summary of who I am. My name is Rodney and I’m a geek. I graduated from Louisiana Tech University with a Bachelors of Science in Computer information Systems. I’m currently 23 years old and will be joining the USAF in the upcoming months. I love technology, politics, and recently have grown to love blogging (Ironic seeing that I have always hated English). But that’s enough of that; lets get to the point of this rant.

I was born and raised in a Christian environment. When I was 8, I became a member of a church and attended worship services and bible class every week. I said my prayers at night, read my bible, and tried to follow the bible as closely as possible and without blemish. I was what they call “a good Christian child.” Now after reading that, you might wonder how is it that I stopped believing in god?

Retracing over my childhood, I was always the skeptical type. I loved math, science, and history. I wanted evidence for everything. If I were told something that did not make sense, I would question it and demand proof. This eventually started interfering with my teachings in church. There were far to many logical fallacies contained in the bible for my liking. That’s when I started questioning everything I was being told.

It first started with small questions like where did god come from and how did a virgin have a baby. Of course I would get the typical “he was always here” and “it was the power of god” answers. These answers were not satisfactory to me but they were the best answers I would receive. As I became older, I urged for more precise answers. How was it possible to flood the entire planet and where did all the water go? Why would the devil leave heaven if it were so great? What makes Christianity right and other religions wrong? Why does the bible contradict itself? As you can see, there were a lot questions that I needed answered.

I started praying and searching for answers to all of my questions. I had counseling sessions with preachers, went to every church event possible, and even took a course in religion (huge waste of time). I wanted to believe that god was real. I wanted to believe in heaven and the hope of eternal life. Heck, I wanted to believe that if I paid my tithe to the church, I would be financially blessed. After reasoning with myself, it became obvious. I did not believe in “god.”

I had allowed myself to follow a religion without making sanity of it first. All the wasted time spent in church when I could have been getting production out of my life. All the money I had given to the church when I could have put it to much better use. I had been hoodwinked! Oh how disappointed was I in my inability to match religion with fairy tales.

But yea, that’s my short story. Notice that I like to keep my rants short and simply worded. I have since become an undercover atheist, which I will tell you guys about at a later time. Please share your experiences, if any, with me in the comment section. Also feel free to criticize the living hell (if there is one) out of me if you want, doesn’t matter.




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