When my grandmother was pushing this God in my life she was pushing Santa Claus in it as well. Please don’t ask me why because at that time I was 6 years old and I thought my family was the best family I would ever have and to this day I still don’t understand why. Anyway, when they were telling me that Santa Claus was real they were telling me God was real as well. Well I knew when I turned 8 that I didn’t believe in Santa Claus but I don’t know why I didn’t stop trying to believe in God. I’m 8 years old and I knew my family had a cruel sense of humor. This family would tell me Leprechauns slept under my bed at night and when I go to sleep he snacks on all of my left foot socks. At that time I was only worried about the fact that how can a Leprechaun differentiate between a left and right sock because I knew I couldn’t. The reason why they did was that because I saw that one movie called Leprechaun: In the Hood and that little fucker at the time scared me. So I guess they took that as an advantage to scare me even more by making up stories about Leprechauns. They failed to realize that I didn’t believe in that type of shit growing up so they had a hard time scaring me. They will never know my real fear and that’s my fear of clowns. If they would of did family outings and did things normal families do, they would of realized that day when they didn’t want those circus tickets that their Church was giving away that I was afraid of clowns but they’re idiots.
Anyway, as I was saying, I should of stopped believing in God when I stopped believing in Santa Claus and anything else mythical. People don’t see Santa Claus, hear Santa Claus, feel Santa Claus but they know he isn’t real. People don’t see Leprechauns jumping around with a pot of gold, don’t see Leprechauns running from kids with spoons in their hands, but they know they aren’t real. So what’s so different between them and why do Atheists get such a hard time when we don’t believe in God? Cause of the Holy Bible? The fact that there are things in there that happened then and the fact that they are happening now? That’s what making people believe? Well excuse me for knowing that History repeats itself in every sense of the word.
Now that I think about it, I think I asked my grandmother have she ever seen God before and she said no, no one has. She also told me that just because I don’t have any knowing if he is real or not that I should believe any way. Well see kids at the time had imaginary friends and it dawned on me, God is my grandmothers imaginary friend. I never said this out loud to her but I really wanted to.
I think I know now why I didn’t stop believing in God then. I was confused on a lot of things. My family didn’t believe in Santa Claus but they told little kids that he was real. They didn’t believe in Leprechauns but they tell me that they do exist. They believe in God but my family couldn’t tell me what he looks like. Basically, since they obviously knew what he/she/it was I guess it was okay for me to believe in him/her/it too. I was still wondering what this Holy Ghost was at the time because when I was in Church, people would be screaming and hollering about how the Holy Ghost got to them. I used to wonder why it would only get that same person every single Sunday. I asked my grandmother and she would just say she was the one that sinned the most that week. She must have been doing a lot of sinning because she would be screaming about that Holy Ghost for a good 5-6 minutes. Now when I see people do that when my boyfriend wants me to go to Church with him, I just think they have a really guilty conscience.